My goodness… how summer is coming to a close.. congratulations to Spain for a well-deserved World Cup win.

I’m uploading this post from the Kilimanjaro Eco Hostel in Moshi, Tanzania. I begin my trek tomorrow. All of you on my email list will receive an Kili update to your inbox after the climb, get reorganised, and when I regain cell service/wifi again (mid-late September). The scope of edition call spans from late July to the end of August, pre-departure to Africa.

Emory Study Abroad in St Andrews

A cohort of students from Emory had the opportunity to apply for a fully-funded summer in St Andrews, where they’d study Sociology under the guidance of Emory Sociology professor extraordinaire, Dr. Tim Dowd. Myself and the other Bobby Jones Scholars had dinner with Dr. Down in December when he was scoping out the campus and getting a feel for classrooms, student accommodations, and field trip locations. Seven months later, the big idea had come to life. Lydia King and I (Lucas was in France and David in NYC – we miss y’all), sat with the study abroad students, their teaching assistant, and Dr. Dowd to enjoy nothing more Scottish than Fish n Chips. I loved hearing the students’ diverse backgrounds from hometown to academic interests. I was already impressed that they’d figured out the bus system and had trips planned to Dundee, London, and Paris, on their own! I look forward to seeing how the program continues to grow and offer students’ a magical summer learning experience. 

Cape Cod

I packed up half of my belongings into two duffel bags, a carry-on, and a backpack. This felt like the big first transition step out of my Bobby Jones year. I had planned to bring my ice hockey gear back home (surely was not going to Tanzania), but when I went to fetch it after my last day bartending, the shed had been cleared out. Despite students living and using the accommodation and shed for many consecutive years, clearly the expectations changed and I didn’t receive a heads up. Sadly, all of my ice hockey equipment, gear, jerseys, stick, you name it, is gone. I’ve written several emails and left physical notes with contact information, but I’m devastated to say the least. The ‘reframing’ ‘optimism’ in my mind tells me that, well, at least you ended your career as an international all star… but sheesh, what a horrible, forceful way into retirement. 

Back to the travel plot: I fly direct Edinburgh to Boston, Dad meets me at Logan, and we begin the packing/unpacking frenzy. First step – home to drop off non essentials and open mail. Hello home for the first time in almost a year! Second step – REI for long underwear and remaining kili gear. Third step – chick fil a (duh). Fourth step – drive to Cape Cod. We made it to the cape early enough to sip tequila with Rebecca, taste test Scotland’s very own Johnnie Walker, and sleep at a reasonable hour! 

Being home and with family and friends was soul-fulfilling. I kicked off the weekend by visiting Natalia and her family. Nothing better than old friends, grilling, s’mores, WNBA All Stars skills competition, and travel youtube vlogs. Natalia and I spent the day at the beach and went to a self-serve froyo place (our favorite).

Days included dissertation work at the beautiful local library or coffeeshop, runs around the little loop, quality time with Winston and Rosie, or hosting beloved family and friends.

We enjoyed dinner from home thanks to mom’s incredible cheffing range (scallops, chicken tacos, steak, you name it!), other nights, we visited old favorites like The Red Nun or The Squire. Despite not being here since last summer, it’s amazing how quickly the body and mind adapt to old ways of living. How comforting to walk around familiar parks and bodies of water and to know many running routes. 

Bonus: I unofficially joined to Cookware team at the Taste of Chatham. Admission to Taste of Chatham “includes tent entrance to an evening of tastings from 20+ local food and beverage establishments, music and silent auction of local art and experiences. Event proceeds go to support the programs and resources of Monomoy Community Services, Chatham’s Family Resource Center.”¹ Usually, each restaurant produces a few smaller bites, so that guests can enjoy a range of food from different establishments. In years past, when I worked at Chatham Cookware, I worked this event, so I was overjoyed to pop in, get a rush of nostalgia, say hi to friends, and scope out what the other restaurants presented on their menus. My favourites included: lobster ‘taco’ rolls, frozen margaritas, ribs, pulled pork slider, mini French breakfast muffins, sushi platter, and assorted Chatham Candy Manor chocolates. Also, it wouldn’t be a complete Taste of Chatham night if you didn’t end up hauling home an entire loaf of freshly baked bread (bottom middle picture).

It wouldn’t be summertime without a lobster dinner, and lucky for me, I was around for two! Mom really put in the lobster boiling and cracking reps this summer. The product was fantastic. Dad continues his legacy as the fastest, largest, most detailed lobster – usually theres at least two of his lobsters at the table.. gotta cover alllll the newspaper. I realized that having a visual cue (some say its cheating, I say it’s using my resources), helps my accuracy immensely. I love having guests put their own spin on their lobster dinner illustrations. And, hey, if yours is memorable enough, you might just make it into the Lobster Hall of Fame book. To David, Lydia, Hanno, and Lucas – I promise this lobster is from a different universe than whatever we were served at Dune that one time. Lobster, from the Cape, remains my favorite food. 

As if it couldn’t get more quintessentially Cape Cod… Mom took me as her plus one to a trivia night! Hosted in a cute clubhouse on a pier overlooking Stage Harbor, the trivia night brought together 3 generations to compete for … well… we didn’t exactly know what, but we were happy to be there, and bragging rights/ego seemed to be motivation enough. 

I also had the pleasure and privilege to enjoy several cruises on the new boat. As some of you might know, Aqua-chonk had some problems including but not limited to: snapping off the mooring, repeated engine troubles, and sinking in Stage Harbor. Dad said enough was enough, and made the upgrade! We cruised smoothly, in style.

After a week and a half of bliss at home, Dad drove me back to the airport to return for the final push in Scotland. Aided by a Legal Sea Foods Cosmopolitan and complimentary airline beverages, I slept the entire 5-6 hour flight back to Edinburgh. That was one way to fight off the jetlag! 

How apt that I departed from C33, the Boston Logan gate dedicated to Boston Bruins legend, Zdeno Chara!² Couldn’t have been a more perfect send-off. The orange seats are old stadium seating from TD Garden.

Last Hurrah in Scotland

Lucky for me, I’ve met some of the most wonderful people at St Andrews, and I had a little welcome-back crew. Courtney picked me up at the airport and accompanied me to the Apple Store in Edinburgh, and Nicole also joined the adventure to finish getting all her mountain climbing gear. We enjoyed Taco Libre for lunch, picked up my factory-reset laptop (I had more computer troubles to remedy … long story not worth reliving…TLDR: computer shut down 11 days before the dissertation was due and did not turn on, went to several apple stores on two different continents…my mom and I spend so much time at the Hingham location that we sat on the floor of Barnes and Noble for 3 hours researching our upcoming trip…for some reason, apple Edinburgh was able to semi-revive the computer, get the necessary data, and reset my laptop to get rid of whatever system malfunction occurred).

Pics from Hingham Barnes and Noble with mom plus Dr. Blakeley’s book front and center in the memoir section!

By the time I returned from the United States, I had 2 weeks left in St Andrews. People from Deans Court began to trickle out and begin their new chapters, starting with Lydia King L In these last weeks, I began wondering, “will this be the last time I: go to the library, visit St Mary’s Quad, walk the Old Course, run along West Sands, walk the Scores, etc.” A year is a long enough time to know a place pretty well, especially when that place is 3 main streets. I expected a more overwhelming sadness to say goodbye to a place which has contributed to one of the best years of my life, and yet, I felt a happy nostalgia, appreciation, and peace. I found myself reremembering different eras of St Andrews: cold winter, curled up in Deans Court, vibrant summer on the beaches and roaming the streets after bar hours, September and October when everything still felt brand new. I can still feel and imagine these chapters in my mind and body, episodically almost physiologically, if I close my eyes. I expect that these rich, vibrant memories will fade over time; I trust that photos, friends, cues, memories, journal entries, and blog will help preserve. 

Last toasty with Lucas 😦 Goodbye dessert party for Lydia King.

To celebrate everyone handing in their dissertations, Deans (informally) threw another Garden party! Courtney worked hard to get a refund because the company who created the Deans ties and scarfs printed the wrong patterns. The ties and scarves arrived too late to be exchanged, so she advocated for a partial refund. They reached an agreement, and sent some of the money back because of the original mistake. With that money, Deans threw a partyyyyy. We had the pleasure of stocking the function. 

Lucas pulled together a wee early birthday surprise with a Janettas ice cream cake (our best). We attended the garden party after the mini celebration: soccer in the courtyard, tried all the VK flavours, and Mario kart and ping pong in the common room. A wonderful way to bring everyone together in the last week of our shared time. 

For some reason, Courtney and I agreed to play padel at 9am the day after the aforementioned garden party. We were in rough form. Carl and Rich luckily held their own, and didn’t seem to take our hangover handicap seriously. At our rematch, both were surprised how much better we could actually perform. We wouldn’t lie about that!!

Crail 

One last excursion before my time in Fife, Scotland came to a close. Courtney and I had the pleasure of dog-sitting and house-sitting in the quaint, coastal, Scottish town of Crail. Right along the Fife Coastal path, the home boasts incredible views of the harbor and Isle of May. It doesn’t get more picturesque than this! Days were split into morning/afternoon/evening based on the dog’s required drug/water/walk needs. We’d run back to St Andrews in between commitments to frenetically pack our belongings. 

With move out at 10am on the 24^th and dogsitting from 19-23, you can see I was operating on a tight schedule. Despite this, there was a bit of time carved out for celebration. On the 23^rd, my birthday, I had the best low-key day: morning run to Anstruther, mimosas, pancakes, and bacon, walks with Roca, calls with family and friends at home, and a final gelato run with my remaining friends at St Andrews. 

Academics

In my last blog post, I had promised a final review of my academic experience at St Andrews. I’ll keep it brief. This dissertation was completely different form my undergraduate dissertation. At Emory, in the ILA, we had weekly meetings, 2 to 3 additional chairs editing sessions, a year and a half of prior preparation, and numerous classes to supplement and scaffold writing progress. In this one-year masters, the year can be broken up into three parts: semester one (sept-dec), semester two (jan-may), and summer session (no taught classes anymore, just dissertation work). Most students started thinking about their dissertation projects at the end of semester 2, many only once finals were done. To be frank, that timeline would have never worked for me. Luckily, my dissertation advisor, Dr. Dritschel was patient with me when I requested a meeting back in November for advice. From there, I joined another undergraduate researcher with whom I collaborated with to pull off what my dissertation came to be: 48 participants (in total) underwent a one-hour long, in-person experiment designed to explore whether different ways of processing positive autobiographical memories influence cognitive reactivity, affect, self-compassion, and dysfunctional attitudes. We began testing back in March/April to try and reach our target participant number, 46. I assure you I was working hard right up to the deadline. 

Here’s a bit of my abstract and introduction: 

[italicize] “Positive autobiographical memory retrieval has been shown to produce beneficial, null, and adverse effects on mood in individuals with depression or low mood, and processing mode may explain this variability. In the present study, individuals with low mood (N=41) processed a positive social memory either deeply (meaning-focused) or superficially (perceptually-sensory-focused), completed a self-discrepancy induction, then re-retrieved and summarised the previously processed memory. Across four timepoints, positive and negative affect, dysfunctional attitudes, and self-compassion were assessed. Contrary to prediction, deep processing was not uniformly beneficial. Compared to the superficial-processing condition, in the deep-processing condition, positive affect trended lower, negative affect showed a sharper stress response accompanied by more efficient negative affect recovery, and self-compassion was better sustained after self-discrepancy. No condition differences emerged for dysfunctional attitudes. These findings suggest that deep engagement with positive memories primarily supports affective recovery and increased resilience through self-compassion under acute stress.”    

Given that this dissertation process was more accelerated and isolated than my undergrad. At Emory, I had weekly dissertation meetings and a cohort of 4 total professors with whom I discussed with frequently. At St Andrews, I had my one supervisor, with whom I was only required to meet with 11 times throughout the year. I was used to writing social science and humanities papers. I had taken biology classes, which exposed me to baseline statistics and scientific language, and I had studied the intersection of science, philosophy, and religion in India through the Tibetan Mind Body Sciences summer abroad experience. But, I’d never committed to doing well… just plain science. The scientific method became my structural stability. The resulting paper is about 14,000 words and 70ish pages (including references and appendices). What a journey.

Edinburgh

In the days before departing for Mt Kilimanjaro, I had a mini home base at Aunt Ginger’s beautiful flat. With all the packing and planning I had to get done, being able to stay at hers was a godsend. Not to mention, Edinburgh is a beautiful city and has so much to offer. Between the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, walking up Arthur’s seat, organizing trip logistics post-Kili, and grabbing any last minute items (AAA batteries for headlamp, updated USD currency, snacks, etc). I enjoyed cooking for one last time, in a home, and got ready to explore another continent!

1. https://www.monomoy.org/event-details/taste-of-chatham ↩︎
2. https://www.wpri.com/sports/bruins/boston-logan-airport-dedicates-terminal-cs-gate-33-to-zdeno-chara/ ↩︎